“Just when you think Trump can’t dig himself a deeper hole, he literally reaches China.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Rarely during a witch hunt do you see the witch drown herself.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Yeah, Trump turned to his staffers like, ‘Are you losers happy? I didn’t say it over the phone this time!’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Staffers said, ‘Sir, you can’t say that.’ And Trump was like, ‘What are they gonna do, impeach me twice?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“In the middle of being investigated for asking foreign countries for election help, Trump publicly asked foreign countries for election help. That’s like chugging a beer while taking a breathalyzer test.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Trump once publicly called on Russia to investigate Hillary Clinton, then he asked for Ukraine’s help with the Bidens, now he is asking China. You’ve gotta admit it — in his own way, Trump really does bring the world together.” — JAMES CORDEN

“He doesn’t even care about appearances any more. It’s like when a divorced dad goes ‘That’s it — from now on I’m wearing sweatpants every day. This is me.’” — JAMES CORDEN

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